Planning a same-sex couple wedding and trying to decide what you should (and shouldn’t) do? A wedding is a wedding, so our rule of thumb is: Do everything you would in a more traditional wedding.

At PAPYRUS, we’ve got gay wedding ideas (and cards and invites!) galore. So read on for our quick guide on everything from etiquette ideas to invitations. And if you’re a guest at a same-sex wedding, make sure you check out our lines of same-sex wedding cards to add to your gift!  

Forget Convention. Set aside the notion of what you’re supposed to do. This is your big day, and you should celebrate as you choose, and invite those whom you choose. Not comfortable with a less-than-accepting family member or friend? Don’t invite them. You do you!

Plan Your Parties. So what if you’re bachelor and bachelor, or bachelorette and bachelorette? You can still plan separate parties and celebrate with your friends, whether it’s a simple dinner and drinks out or a weeklong getaway to Vegas.

Vet Your Vendors. While it’s 2018, you know the current political atmosphere. And while most people are inclusive (or, at the very least, willing to take your money), read online reviews to find bakeries, churches, honeymoon locations, or venues that are accepting of same-sex couples. You don’t want to give your business to someone who’s not LGBTQA-friendly.

Figure Out Who Pays for What. Defy traditional roles and simply come to an agreement on who will pay for what beforehand. You, the couple, may even decide to foot some or all of the bill.

Figure Out Your Processional Order. Shake off the traditions and go the custom route. Want both brides to process down the aisle together? Cool. Do both grooms want to walk single file with their parents beside them? Great. Again, do what works for you!

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Wedding Planning Timeline

  • Figure Out Your Budget. Once you decide who’s paying for what, stay within the total wedding budget. You don’t need a $50,000 wedding to make it meaningful. If money is tighter, figure out where to scrimp. An off-the-rack outfit is great.
  • Determine a Venue. Once you decide on your venue, work with the wedding coordinator there to see what they offer in terms of packages and dates.
  • Pick your Date. If it’s a backyard wedding, you’re good to go. Otherwise you’re at the mercy of the location you’ve chosen. The sooner you book, the better.
  • Create Your Guest List. Whether you want 20 or 250 people witnessing your big day, create a file full of your guest lists, along with addresses, to make sending out invites and thank you notes a snap.
  • Select Your Vendors. Your wedding can be as simple or as complicated as you want it. From cake, flowers, photographer, videographer, transportation and catering, you figure out what you want … and what you possibly want to DIY.
  • Choose your Invitations. Having a formal destination wedding in Italy? A laid-back barbecue in your parents’ backyard? Choose custom invitations to reflect the aesthetic of your affair. For a formal wedding, choose scripted fonts and elegant touches. For a casual affair, something with whimsical graphics is great.
  • Send Out Your Save the Dates. If you’re sending out save the date cards, get them in the mail about four months ahead of the ceremony. For destination weddings, you’ll want to send out cards anywhere from eight months to a year in advance, so guests can line up their travel accommodations.
  • Send Out the Invitations. Get those wedding invites in the mail six to eight weeks before the big day.
  • Say “I Do”! You’ve made it! Now, don your best suit or dress, and make your way down that aisle. You’ve earned it! Many congratulations to the happy couple!